A: Frustration

I've spent the last year out of church. It has not been entirely devoid of the Lord's influence, as I've learned, grown, and realized things about my faith and why I believe what I do. Coming to grips with somethings that many might consider harsh about faith was one of the toughest things I've had to do, but at the same time one of the most rewarding. I have a new appreciation for who, what, and why God is. This year was a time of great struggle, as I had to deal with a lot of new things that I've never experienced. Being fired was a big one, but being by my friend's side as they went through relational issues was the toughest. Coming to grips with some of the things from my past was a contender for the second spot on the list. The experiences of the last year resonated deeply with what I know of God and what I've learned about God.

Gradually, however, I know that I must return to the fold. I must go to church. Not because it's "mandatory" or a qualification of salvation, but because if you are away from the fellowship you lose touch with your brothers and sisters, you lose contact with other people on the same journey as you. The Christian life is often compared to a battlefield and battles are won with armies, not lone rangers. To win the battle, I must fight alongside others.

Upon returning to the fold, the bubble, I was struck by something that seemed to me out of place with what I know of faith. We claim to serve a living God, but we live, act, and worship as if Christ never rose from the dead. Our praise songs are funeral dirges, our lives are "whitewashed tombs full of dead bones, and all that is unclean"(Matthew 23:27). We are practical atheists, we acknowledge God exists, but live like He does not, to quote Craig Groeschel. We pay lip service to our God, and can debate the differences between infralapsarianism and supralapsarianism, but you ask us what we are excited about and we can lie and say "Jesus!" or be honest and admit it's the new season of LOST. We have head knowledge, but no heart knowledge.

This is an old critique, one that has befallen Christians, and the Pharisees alike. We know the doctrine of the Bible, we know the history of the Bible, but we have never lived it's Heart. The Heart of the Bible, the sum of all it's info is that Christ was born, died, and then LIVED again, and that because of that we are free from paying the cost of our sins, the seperation from God. We have the most glorious news of all time and we live and act like it's the most shameful thing we've ever done. We are afraid of our faith, we are afraid of what people will think, and we are afraid of what the consequences will be if we live a life that fears and respects the living God.

The best sports fans can rattle off any fact, factoid, blurb or obscure reference of their favorite team and then act like a madman at any of their games. Most Christians will tell you that Jesus saves and that you should behave. I serve a God that asks me to be as I am, and to come to Him with my heart, and to live my life as hard as I can. To serve Him and to live a life pleasing to Him with abandon, and a bold sure faith. God demands our best, and He can. It's not enough to speak truth, we must live it.

If God is real, and God is good, then how come we live like He's stuck in the tomb?

To end this blog I felt it would be best to quote someone who lives their life as hard as they can for a cause they believe in:

Take care of each other out there. everyone here is my brother, let's make sure everybody goes home safe. Alright, let's stomp some heads. - Scott Vogel, frontman of Terror

The total commitment and certainty Scott Vogel has to hardcore music is the only thing keeping him alive at times, and it's what he lives for, how many Christians can make the same claim about the God that created everything, loves everyone, and willingly died for us?